I miss the magic of being around you, the feeling of being in your arms. The feeling of your skin next to mine, the desire of touching you and knowing I would see you tonight. Whatever tonight was - I miss the hope I had for us. The idea of building something concrete.
Everybody likes a project. But I also thought too much about your problems and too little about my life. Wanting to heal you would have consumed me. You felt almost there but you weren't. You needed to heal. As did I.
No joke, I cannot remember which of my exes this was written about... because looking back on old patterns, it could be any of them!
I had this uncanny ability to find people 's healing journeys appeal to the side of me that wanted to feel purposeful. A distraction from my own self growth and healing.
Always lots of love though.
Keeping this here as a relic, a relationship fossil for anyone to learn from. IF you are trying to rescue or save someone right now, check real quick if there is a light within you that is currently waiting to be lit. And if so, notice it. Doesn't mean you have to break up, just stop ignoring it. If the person sticks around after you choose yourself, good. If they do not, that is also good.
You are always in control. And so are they.
Me, personally? I keep ALL my lights on now :)
Comments